Being single in your mid 20s is weird – kinda really fun, kinda really isolated. I think feeling good in your clothes at this age is too, it’s the point where all the ‘when I grow up I’ll look good in this’ sentiment suddenly becomes too little too late, when we start growing into our adult bodies and realising we won’t ever be the idealised skinny body type of literal 16 year olds ever again.
I’m warring with this feeling now – personal style seems to be an afterthought, once I manage to get out of the house in time for work every morning. And any kind of inspiring cultural or social events are a write off being exhausted every evening and needing a full weekend just to catch up on housework and recover enough for another Monday to roll around.
How do you make yourself feel good about yourself again?
Well it is all about mindset, you need to challenge any negative self talk that pops up. I do I through journaling, and practicing talking to myself with kindness. The more you do it the more it’ll become natural, and before you even notice those negative thoughts will be popping up less and less.
Giving yourself a boost of exercise always helps too, and no, not exercise with the goal of changing your body or jumping on a trend, but just getting a walk in, sweating it out in some cardio, feeling stronger and more confident of your movements with some resistance training, or giving yourself some headspace with a run. Find what works for you and make sure you stick to it, often heading out of the door feels tedious, but the minute your blood gets pumping you start to enjoy yourself.
Sunlight is another biggie for me. It is tricky to find in the winter, but stepping out for a lunchtime walk or even having your morning cup of tea in the light of the window will get you that every crucial vitamin D.
Dressing up will also give you a boost. Its actually a specific task me and my therapist used to set for me. Have that full body shower, condition your hair, put on whatever feels comfortable (doesn’t have to be fancy, but it can’t be your slouchy stay at home clothes) and just leave the house feeling fresh!
I’m trying to do all of the above, but its easier said than done.
Trying to keep track of diet, hydration, skincare, haircare, style, work and everything else will only ever make you feel behind, and if you’re anything like me, feel like you’re failing. So aim somewhere realistic, if you dress to the nines on Monday then have a casual day Tuesday but make sure you have a morning run.
Setting realistic goals, and being kind to yourself, means achieving your goals and feeling better about yourself. So work that way instead of pressuring yourself to breaking point. Maybe this week all you want to achieve is wearing that new dark lipstick to work and that’s good enough.